Thursday, February 25, 2010

Another "Progress" Report

I know I still haven't been overly informative or post-crazy recently, but as I hit Week 7 of my unemployment status, I'm not really happy about things.
I realize that people shouldn't make their job their entire identity, and I don't, but I feel pretty much like a sack of garbage as I close in on Day 50 of not having a job. The financial cushion I had established when I lost my job January 7 still exists, but is smaller now, I don't want to run through it all and we need money to pay the mortgage, utilities and other bills; nothing surprising, but I don't want to put anything Val and I have worked for so hard in jeopardy.
And, despite the well wishes, compliments and good-luck exhortations from friends and relatives, this has been and continues to be a soul-crushing experience, particularly when you receive rejection letters from jobs you damn well know you are qualified to do and can do a very good job performing.
But I will keep applying for jobs and keep on going through the same thousands of job listings until I find a job and get back to being useful and supporting Val and our modest way of life. But my blogging may continue to be less than effusive for now.


Blogger Jill said...

I feel your pain. I've been out of work since October. I know exactly what you mean about not being hired for jobs that you know you would be really good at and would be a great asset to the company. Disappointing and frustrating don't even begin to cover it...

After not being able to land anything on my own, I signed on with a couple of job agencies. They've been keeping me busy with temp jobs and while the pay is horrible, at least I can keep my mortgage paid.

I think the worst part is that I am losing the enthusiasm I used to have for any job I've ever had. I still give 100% at whatever job I'm at, but I just don't feel the eagerness inside to overachieve anymore. Having to learn new positions and new people every few weeks really starts to wear on a person. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm going to be underemployed now forever. It's a horrible feeling thinking that I will never catch up again, much less ever get ahead. I like to think that I'm reasonably intelligent and with two degrees, you'd think I'd be able to find *something* out there!

Sorry to vent here, but I don't really have anyone around that understands what I'm going through - friends and family are all working and think that I "have it made" now (yeah - right)... You're lucky to have Val to be there for you! I hope you'll be able to find something soon :)

9:48 PM  
Blogger heather said...

I haven't gone without a job for as long as you two have, but I do know the stress of trying to find a job, and having to have a job.

You can't make it personal, that you're not good enough, etc. As you said Kevin, you KNOW you can do the job. The problem is, there is always the chance someone from the inside or a friend, etc. got the position.

You're also looking for a job at the same time as many, many others, it's not a great time, few positions.

I went the temp way too and it actually panned out into a job I had for 8 years.

I have no doubt something will turn up, and it will be good. It will be all the more sweet, because of what you had to endure to get there.

A break to get those juices flowing again is not a bad thing.

12:12 PM  

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